There's still a lot I don't know about bankruptcy, but I seem to learn more every week.
I did not know that the Chicago Cubs had yet to file bankruptcy, primarily because they are the Cubs.
The Cubs haven't won a World Series since my grandparents were teenagers, and they are now too dead to remember it. Yet somehow this team that I grew up cheering in complete futility wasn't really busted when its owner, the Tribune Co., filed bankruptcy in December.
This week, Tribune executives hinted that they might file a Cubs bankruptcy after all. They say this would be just a technical, legal process to prepare the team for a sale, not a tacit admission that the Cubs really have been cursed since infamously ejecting a stinky, old goat from the World Series it lost in 1945.
I also did not know it was still possible for companies to get debtor-in-possession financing given the credit crunch. Seattle clothier Eddie Bauer Holdings Inc., however, recently got $100 million in DIP financing.
The loot came from lenders that required a few emergency loans themselves, Bank Of America Corp. (BAC), GE Capital and CIT Group Inc. (CIT).
I did not know CIT still had money to lend with all the talk of it having to file bankruptcy if the government doesn't rescue it any minute.
I did not know you could use the bankruptcy court to find out exactly what Wayne Gretzky is doing with his money. The Great One makes about $7 million a year as coach of the National Hockey League's Phoenix Coyotes, which is in bankruptcy, and not because it's stupidly expensive to make ice in a burning desert.
The city of Glendale, a creditor, has filed a motion seeking Gretzky's tax returns.
"Mr. Gretzky is....one of the most recognizable sports figures in the history of the United States," Coyotes lawyers wrote in trying to block the motion. "His privacy interest...outweighs (Glendale's) need for disclosure of Mr. Gretzky's personal tax records."
I did not know the failing state of California could issue IOUs. I always thought IOUs were only used in cartoons, like when Wimpy needed Popeye to buy him a hamburger.
I did not know that someone could guide Chrysler and GM through bankruptcy in less than 45 days, while enduring scrutiny from an influence-peddling scandal. But Steven Rattner, who just resigned as "car czar," was simply amazing. Why can't the entire U.S. government do this and be done with it already?
I did not know that bankruptcy is a path to global competitiveness. But I am not Gary Peters, a U.S. representative from Michigan: "With bankruptcy in the rearview mirror, U.S. auto companies will...become more globally competitive." Better check that mirror, though: "Objects may be closer than they appear."
I did not know any newspaper still had $1 million left. But Journal Register Co., publisher of New Haven (Conn.) Register and other newspapers, is coming out of Chapter 11 with court-approved plans to pay its executives $1.3 million in bonuses. Given our national economic priority to reward failure, I did not know this could be a problem, but Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal issued this statement:
"This decision means that bankruptcy is no bar against bloated big-time bonuses...The...ruling means that executives will be substantially rewarded more than $1.3 million in blatantly undeserved bonuses for shutting down newspapers and laying off employees."
I still do not know how much the lawyers will make searching for Bernie Madoff's assets. So far, a Manhattan law firm working with a court-appointed trustee has run up a $14.6 million tab.
The hunt "has unearthed a labyrinth of interrelated international funds, institutions and entities of almost unparalleled complexity and breadth," the trustee recently wrote in a report.
Madoff victim Candace Newlove of Nederland, Colo., had already suggested a much simpler solution: Hang "him by his toes for 12 years." That ought to shake loose some change.
Also, I did not know people can't get away with everything in bankruptcy court like some companies do. Donald Ferguson of Fromberg, Mont., was sentenced on Wednesday to 3 1/2 years in prison for bankruptcy fraud, according to a report by The Associated Press.
Prosecutors alleged he made frivolous court filings to delay foreclosure on his house and tried to pay his taxes with checks from a closed bank account.
Geez, isn't that what bankruptcy is all about?
(Al's Emporium, written by Dow Jones Newswires columnist Al Lewis, offers commentary and analysis on a wide range of business subjects through an unconventional perspective. The column is published each Tuesday and Thursday at 9 a.m. ET. Contact Al at al.lewis@dowjones.com or tellittoal.com)
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